Skip to main content

Thoughts On An Enduring Marriage 1964 - ????

I'm not sure, at our young ages in 1964, whether we knew what we were getting into. We thought we were more mature and ready than we probably actually were. Looking today at kids who are 18 and 19 years old, I certainly wonder, were we actually that immature? Or, are kids today so much more pampered and focused on self, while we learned early the responsibilities of growing up?

Would I, today, recommend or encourage any 18/19 year old couples to marry that young? NO! Obviously, it can work. It has for Sandy and me for 46 years. And, we really are not that unique,coming from a childhood in the fifties and coming of age in the 60's. We can point out many of our high school friends who married just as early and are still together, enjoying a relationship that grows stronger each year. One factor, I believe, that solidified our intention to make our marriage a lasting journey, is that we had excellent examples in our homes. Our parents were committed to their marriages and taught us that that is the way it is to be. We caught that.

On the other hand, I see so many very young couples today who married early, but bolted out of the commitment and responsibility at the first sign of conflict. It is easier to flee than to stand firm and face the conflict, work through it, and come out on the other side stronger and more committed to one another. Again, with the increase and commonality of divorce today, young couples don't have that parental example that Sandy and I had.

We have met with the good, the bad, and the ugly in 46 years. We've had health and sickness. (Yes, I remember when there was no sign of the aches and pains that come to those of us over 50.) We've had the rich and the poor. Let me qualify "rich." Rich, in our years together does not mean monetary wealth. It simply means that God blessed us in ways that cannot be counted and deposited in the bank. Poor, on the other hand, could mean not wealthy in a monetary context. It can, however, also mean that our lives may have been void of the blessings of God because we were not in constant communication with Him.

We have been blessed with two daughters, who hopefully we properly taught the important values of this life that will prepare them for the eternity to come with the Lord. We have also been blessed with two granddaughters and two step-grandchildren. Their parents now have the primary responsibility to teach them the values which will carry them through this life and also into eternity with their Lord. And, because we are grandparents, we have the responsibility to support them in their teaching the children. Of, course, according to the Official Grandparents Code,we also have the right to tell them the right way (our way) to do it! :)

Now we look forward to several more anniversaries of our marriage. May God grant those to us.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

REFLECTIONS ON A 50 YEAR MARRIAGE

Fifty years ago this morning I woke up as a 19 year old young man. By the end of the day, I was the husband of the young lady with whom I had spent the previous two years falling in love. We were very young; many, I'm sure, felt that we were too young. But 50 years ago, marriage of  a couple 18 or 19 years old was commonplace, not unusual at all. We had no idea, or even an inkling of where our journey would take us or how long we would be together. But, we did take our vows seriously, without even a consideration of the possibility that we could, at any time we desired, call the whole thing off. We entered into the union, even at that young age, expecting our lives together to be "till death parts us." As I reflect on our 50 years together, and observe the change in the minds of so many couples as they approach marriage, I perceive that the mindset in our culture today seems to be that nothing is permanent, not even a marriage covenant is binding f...

America's Marines Singing "Days of Elijah"

Who Is This Man? The Unpredictable Impact of the Inescapable Jesus John Ortberg sums up the whole message of this book in the Epilogue when he writes, "Humanity and divinity somehow intersect in this one man. He became like us so that we might become like him."